How to Talk to A Liberal About Gun Rights Without Losing Your Cool

I was at an event this weekend where there were both Republican Party and Democratic Party booths, luckily the event planner was smart enough to put them at opposite sides of the room, and with a booth square in the middle, I was able to observe the behavior and conversations of both.  As a people watcher by nature (remember I am a trained sociologist with a background in both philosophy and ethnic studies) I found it fascinating to watch these folks and how they operate.  ​

Now, please let me make a disclaimer here and be perfectly up-front and honest with you; in case you didn’t know - or couldn’t tell from previous blog posts - I am a conservative Republican in most every way (except for environmental issues - where I am definitely more on the liberal side), but I have many many friends and relatives who are (what I would call) hyper-liberal and I love them just the same and get along with them just fine. ​

Anywho, back to the issue at hand, while I manned my own booth I took my free moments to eavesdrop on the conversations held at both tables.  I will tell you it was much easier to listen in on the Democratic Party’s discussion as their passion for everything from education to political leadersl was fervent and their voices continued to raise by an octave or two with each passing hour - for eight hours.  By the time the day was nearly finished the folks at the Democratic Party table were nearly shouting their discussion and, trust me, even people outside could hear their take on absolutely everything - they were just that excited about what they believed.

The Republican Party table, on the other hand, was quiet, reserved, and dignified.  The gentleman manning the booth, named John, was doing a great job getting nearly everyone over to his booth by decorously asking the simple question: “Are you registered to vote?”  No political rhetoric, no inquiring about a person’s political affiliation, just the slightly probing question about one of an American citizen’s most fundamental rights. Even after another few gentlemen joined him at the booth, the question to passers by remained the same.  Never once was there a raised voice or a “political” discussion to be heard from that booth.  When I had the chance to talk with John I learned that he was a lifetime NRA member, the treasurer of the Republican Party in his county, and a proud Christian.  He was, most definitely, a Trump supporter, but he did not share this with everyone who came up to his table, he and I just had a side conversation when I gave him my husband's card and invited him to be our guest at the shop.

The entire experience made me think about the different approaches people take when sharing their point of view and how the decision not to immediately be in attack mode can make a huge difference in communicating with people. I know not all republicans are like John and not all democrats are loud and whiny, I am not trying to generalize or stereotype - I am trying to make the point that the success of getting others to consider your standpoint will ultimately come down to your ability to both listen and share in a smooth non-confrontational way.

I realize that when most conservatives begin a conversation with a liberal about gun rights they want to start with “Listen you pansy ass idiot…”, but might I suggest that this will NOT start the conversation off on the right foot and will most definitely lead to a deadlock situation. Should the issue of gun rights (or gun control as the liberals like to call it) come up in a conversation with a liberal the best thing to do is to ask questions. It the liberal makes the statement “If firearms were no longer allowed in the hands of the American people, there would be no more mass shootings and fewer children would be victims of these horrible crimes!” you may want to respond “I absolutely agree with you, mass shootings are horrific crimes, especially when children are the targets, what type of programs do you think could be implemented in schools to help guide young people who feel isolated, bullied, and despondent - as these are the types of young people most likely to commit these crimes - towards a healthy expression of their frustration?” Do you see what I have done here?  Not only have I justified their feelings by agreeing to part of their statement; I have successfully taken the focus completely off the firearm and redirected it to the person who may have committed the crime.  I have also used some liberal buzzwords like “program”, “bullying”, and “healthy expression”. This technique gently forces the liberal into looking at the root of the problem instead of the tool that was used to rectify the problem - which let's face it, could just as easily been a knife, or a car, or any other number of items.

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We’ll do one more just so you have some tools in your arsenal. If a liberal says to you “If we passed more gun laws crime will go away!” of course you want to respond “You’re a special kind of stupid aren’t ya’?” but just as before this response will get you nowhere. Perhaps a response of “To be sure crime in the country is rampant and many things need to change. When we look at the most crime-ridden areas of the country we see they usually have one thing in common, poverty, and poverty comes from lack of access to things like employment, education, and opportunity.  Do you think creating strategies to address these issues is the responsibility of the government as well?”  Again, I am agreeing with their feelings, taking the focus off of the firearm, and getting at the root of the problem all while addressing the social issues that the liberals hold close to their bleeding hearts.

This type of conversation is not manipulation, it is the easiest and most efficient way to have a conversation with someone you probably don’t agree with on anything. Liberals say some stupid stuff (see examples below), but then again so do conservatives. Long gone are the days of listening to each side of the argument and having an adult discussion about the validity of each side's claims. Both sides are guilty of mudslinging, name-calling, and fact distortion. You, as the conservative, have the opportunity to be the bigger person, to maintain a cool, calm demeanor and perhaps even change a few minds in the process. Don’t let a liberal get your goat, meet them head on with their own logic and a thorough understanding of their point of view - you will come out sounding more congenial, gracious, and informed.